* s t a r d u s t a g a i n s t a p a l e s k y *

A falling star is a phenomenon to an adult and magic- a miracle- to a child. Who's right? Things are what you define them. So who am I? I guess it's up to you...


(because apparently I can run but I can't hide.)


*Welcome Home*

Half the battle

Is letting go

And now I can start on the other half.

It's over.

The End.

I'll never fly this way.

Not ever again.


*Um.. Whoops.. I'm Not Allowed To Say This (But I Don't Care)*

Just thought i'd share that all my praying that my ex's honda goes straight to hell has been successful! he crashed it a while ago and just the other day his hood blew off while he was driving and broke his windshield and his car is officially outta commission. fortunately (slash unfortunately, i mean, :-X) all the people there were fine. someone posted a comment that says "damn boy, what did you do to get all this bad karma?"

am i allowed to laugh out loud for 45 minutes about this? let me just say-- what goes around, comes around

and i totally believe that with all my heart ..

.. i took my love back, and i'm holding onto it with my dear life

*A Day Done Right.. For A Change*

I got an extra 6 hours since I wasnt supposed to go to work until 2!! :-D


So I'm gonna eat breakfast.. yes I am. And I'm gonna clean my room and play with my hamster, walk my doggie and sit on the hammock and read some more of white oleander. or maybe i'll read another of the one million books i have. or do homework. yeah, theres soooo much. and most of all, i'm going to order pizza hut breadsticks.



I'm a happy camper :-)

And I spent another day with Michael yesterday... helped him pack (they're moving closer to meee!) and go to storage, went to his game with his mommy (he scored 4 goals got one assist and one really cool play that he shoulda gotten a point for.. boy is amazing at hockey.. so they wiped the floor with the other team), watched miss congeniality and what women want, and then i left cuz i thought i hadda get up early. it's cool though, i dont want my parents to get all nervous about me being over there all the time. i DO have a freakin 30/40 minute drive home every time.

This movie is perty funny. :-D I'm gonna go order mah pizza hut now :-D

Today is Mickeys 19th birthday by the way. Happy happy birthday :-D


*Blah... WOAH!*

I hope Michael had a happy happy birthday :-) I know I did. I thought I was gonna stay like an hour last night but instead I fell asleep in his arms and I hadda sneak out past Stef and TJ on the couch. Quite fun.

It was so cute though.. Stef and TJ have been goin out a while and they were like tickling each other... Mike comes up to me, pushes me off the chair, and we wrestled and tickled each other in the middle of a room full of his family. His mom just kept yelling "Don't you hurt her!!". Ugh, its like a dream. Seriously.

No but I had so much fun just hanging out .. again :-) <3>


*I Never Wanna Leave*

Why does it seem like everyone is against me feeling happy again?

Greg and Martin have stopped talking to me, basically, or at least mostly ignoring me when I talk to them. And it makes me wonder what kind of friends people really are when they can't deal with me having a boyfriend. I mean I'm fucking home from school with clinical depression and I can't even be happy about being with Mike because there's like those two and even more people that are like.. how dare I. I don't even think I've actually said that for fear of everyone getting mad at me.

But fuck it, I said it. I have a boyfriend.

I know my "I'm staying single forever" only lasted a month and whatever but sometimes things just happen. When I went out with him the one day, I totally wasn't expecting us to be the way we were. But I think it's a good thing.

But I freaking can't keep EVERYONE happy.

And I hate to say it, but the boy is sticking around for a while. He's been my good friend for 5 years and.. I think we have a chance.

Well, today is his birthday. He's probably at the DMV takin his drivers test. I think I'm gonna go over there tonight.. they're having a little family get-together. I like his family, a lot. I mean, I've known them forever so, that's cool. And his mom already warned Mike that he better not hurt me :-) haha. You gotta love that. I made him some perty cool stuff for his birthday.. I tried not to go overboard like I usually do since we've only been together like.. I don't know.. a week and a day? yeah. But he's also been my friend all this time so I did go a little overboard. I admit.

But its cool cuz I got paid last night!! $195! I was so excited, and that was just for this week, not including the other weeks that I did or the overtime. I went to put it in the bank and I did the form backwards (haha, so much for working at Commerce) so instead of depositing everything but $30, i only deposited $30. I didn't feel like arguing with the guy and waiting for him to deposit my money so I just took the cash and.. you guessed it.. went shopping. Borders was the only thing open so I got 2 cookbooks... a surfing book.. ashlee simpson cd (shut up).. christianity book.. depression book.. and a few others. I love reading.

I just wish I actually could.

Someday, I'll be a reader. I'm serious. I will be.

I just have to survive this.

And I'm glad I have such a great friend by my side. <3


Homonymn's Don't Count

Okay so, I really don't want to go to work.

I'm only happy there when I have a really big copy job to do and I know exactly what I'm doing. Still, I'm unsure about ringing things up, copy holds, and everything, basically.

But fortunately I work in Absecon today so I don't have to rush out... 10 mins ago.

Tomorrow is Michael's birthday. I wish I didn't have to work. I dunno if I'm going over there. Sigh. I'm glad its almost the weekend because I'm getting bored with the week. And I have off Sunday. I've worked wayyyyy overtime so possibly I'll be getting paid a LOT whenever I finally get a check.

Oh, I wanted to post some pictures from the game..

And that's my Michael :-)

The pictures of the actual game were pretty blurry because I used the zoom, :-(

Oh sigh, I have to go get dressed and go to work.


Yankees game = freakin awesome

NJ Transit = SUCKS

My Michael = Sooo adorable and good to me and almost a birthday boy!

My car = beautifulness

The weather today = sah-weet

Me = Outside, where I should be


I went to Gourmet and got chocolate chip cannolis.. along with the milanos.. and I went to eckerds for my prescriptions so I'm a happy happy camper.

I'm staying at Mikes tonight and then going to the Yankees/Red Sox game that starts at one.. that way I don't have to get up a half an hour earlier than everyone else and drive to pick up mike and phil and his brother.

Sometimes I just feel like some people...
... just want to kick you back down...
... because they feel like that's where you belong...

I don't wanna be down. And I don't wanna belong.

*I'm A Child, I'm A Mother*

Today deserves a big freakin smile and an "AMEN!"

I went to church for the first time in .. God knows how long. It was communion Sunday which made me happy and I finally decided it's time to turn back on the road with Christ. I've been gona and I've been broken too long. It's just not worth it, without Him life is meaningless but...

.. don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got til its gone? ..

i guess I couldn't feel this happy bout coming back to Christ if I had never gone away.

Anyways, then Michael and I went out to breakfast with my mommy and I had excellent french toast and hot chocolate.

Then Michael and I got lost on the way to his hockey game, which kinda sucked, because they ended up losing .. mostly cuz he was so late. It wasn't my fault tho! I swear! And the boy scored the only goal in the whole game so, I was proud anyway :-)

Then I went back to his house for dinner with his family. They have two dogs and all these reallllllly cool birds. Like, freakin huge birds that just like.. talk to you. It's crazy. But cool. I love his family. It's so cool that I already know them, and like them, and vice-versa. Although I admit it's kinda weird how long Mike and I have been friends and now we're together. But, I decided I'm just not goign to worry and I'm not going to ask questions.

So, Mike and I watched Pirates of the Carribean (No, Jenni, I didn't watch it, dammit) and then watched the Yankees opener (which I did watch until...)

I fell asleep in the happiest state I've been in in a long time and woke up at the bottom of the 8th and the Yankees were def. gonna win. I stayed anyway until the game was over and gave Michael Jesse back his necklace that I was wearing from the other night and said goodnight. I was so tired, I'm glad I had to stop at Wawa or else I woulda never made it the half an hour home.

I bought my parents milk and myself a box of donuts and milanos. I'm so happy that WAWA exists. lol.

So now I'm here. My face is kinda itchy. But it's cool.

I gotta work tomorrow and get off on Tuesday for the Yankees game (I'm posting pictures from it cuz I'm def. bringing the camera!) so I'm heading to bed (but not without a smile).

I can't believe he's the same cute little blondie from youth group like 5 years ago.


*High As A Kite (On Life)*

*happy sigh*

I'm going back to church tomorrow.. with Mike.

I had a great night, hung out with Daniel and Lauren (I'm sooo glad she came with me, I'm totally out of place at one of those rock concerts), and then with Michael. Teehee. I met his birds. They scare the crap outta me. One is like.. freakin huge and it talks to you. Wow. And I'm gonna go see him play tomorrow, I'm excited, in all the years I've known the boy I've never watched him play hockey.

Oh and the Yankees opener is tomorrow, and I'm required to watch it with him.


Oh, catch me, puh-lease.

Yeah, so that took all of.. a month. Whoopsies. :-X Bad Sarah.

Onto Michael numero eighty eight.

*I Want Something Else Again*

So Hrmm... I just painted my nails and fingernails (fingers with tips to match my toes.. :-) But now I realized that I can't get in the shower yet so I have to wait for them to dry. So here I am.

Hopefully the concert will be over early enough for me to go visit Michael.. although I wanna stick around long enough to say hi to Daniel because that was the real intent of going, and he should at least know that I showed up.

*yawn* I'm actually kinda tired still for the other night, although I got quite a bit of sleep last night.

My rooms clean! Aren't you excited? Okay, so the spare room still has a box or four stacked ceiling-high that I have to unpack buuuut my room is squeeky clean and everything is in its place and organized. It makes me so happy!

Hehe, to get into the organizing mood I did the most OCD thing I think I've done ever... I had saved all the notes that Shannon and I and some other people passed in high school. I had this huge box of them (I've been using em as packing peanuts every time I move, lol) and I bought 3-rings and page liners things and seriously unfolded all the notes and put them in a binder. It's actually kinda cool, but it doesn't even look lik eI took any out cuz there were sooooooooooo many. So far ther's at least 60 in there and that's like only the tip of the iceberg. It was mostly Freshman year I think (some while I was still going out with Nick.. woah, I didn't even know that was high school!).

Anyways I'm gonna scoot into the shower and then off to the concert and Mikey's :-D

*You Should See*

So I have to clean alllll day.

And I realized that I've become even more OCD about cleanliness-- which is ironically become my excuse for not cleaning-- I don't have enough time to make it perfect.. and I can't settle for less!!

Well, I suppose I have time today so HOPEFULLY everything will be perfect by the time I head out for Daniel's concert (hopefully with Lauren!!).

Then hopefully Mike will be out of work so I can get a hug and a smile. :-D

Hugs and smiles are all that matters anyway.


*Can I Speak To Penelope Anne?*

Okay so here's the story from last night that I was too tired to type out...

I picked Mike up at like 11.. made him stand in front of his mom's pet store and wave his arms at the street.. teehee. I went in and said hi to his mommy.. who said I look even more like my mom. Hehe, I've known them for.. as long as I can remember. Oh, and he's not taller than me. But finally, not shorter either. Hehe, he'll always be like.. little 4'8'' 12-year-old Michael to me. Hehe.

We went across the street to the diner. I had a bagel and he had a BLT in case you were interested. hehe.

Then we went to Flyer's Skate Zone in Atlantic City to go ice skating. Damn, I forgot he was a freaking hockey player, not to mention an awesome and freakin fast skater. It was my second time on the ice. LoL. I was pretty good though, for twice. I could do one lap in his two. But you should see him, he freakin flies (On a side note though, I didn't fall at all and he fell 3 times... boo yah!). Mike played with the kids on the rink.. soo cute. he's so good with kids (you would be too if you practically had one though.. haha.. long story). It was really cute, and he held my hands and helped me skate and.. haha, more like dragged me around the rink while I prayed not to fall. Boy is so flirty, but adorable.

lmao. my dog just walked in the house with a thong in her mouth. hehe, maybe she's a victoria's secret addict too (errr. she found it on the street.. it ain't mine. woah now gross).

Ok so anyways. After skating we came back to my house and I took Cashmere for a walk while Mike talked to my daddy.. who he noted was exactly the same-- talking on his cell phone. ha, so true. We got movie times and determined that the movie wasn't until 7:20 and it was still really early soooo we went to the mall. We got a lot of food.. Auntie Annes and Kohr Bros.. and he bought a shirt (and got mint chocolate ice cream all over his own shirt.. and on his pants) and I bough a realllllly cute belly ring-- it's a sheep. And I wanna go back and get these new ones-- they're street signs. Hehe. Anyways, mostly we just tried on hats and sunglasses and.. I kept him away from the jewelry stores because he's obsessed with gold.. hehe, my little italian. It was cool, we didn't even go through the whole mall before we had to leave. We were entertaining ourselves pretty well.

So finally we went to the movies.. we saw uhhh.. hrmm.. Be Cool? yeah. It wasn't that bad. And yes Jenni, I watched the whole thing. (hehe.. hmm.. erm.. mostly).

After the movies it was like 1030ish so I drove him home to Mystic Island. I missed all the turns on the way. I was so tired. Haha, but then we got back to his house and talked in my car for .. uhh .. erm .. 5 or 6 hours? hehe, yeah. So I drove home at 5AM from Mystic Island (which I don't remember).. I forgot my cell phone in the car so I couldn't call Mike to tell him I was home but before I went out to get the phone my mom got up and I had to pretend like I was asleep because.. woah.. I was really late. Oh and then I had to go to work this morning early. Perty tired now. Pepsi charged. Boo Yah.

But it was an awesome night. It was so cool, when I laid down I realized the sides of my mouth hurt because I was smiling all day. :-D Now that's a good day.

It was quite possibly the best (and longest) day I've had in a long long long long time.

LMAO. Friends is really funny.. its the ep when Rachel finds out she's pregnant and Ross and Joey are freaking out about condoms only being protection 97% of the time. I guess you have to see it but I'm really laughing out loud.

Ok so anyways. Who knows what's going on with life. But I think it's a little freaky that I spent all night with Mike on that one particular day of the year. Shit, I totally shouldn't be thinking about that. But I am.

And get this, Mike's birthday is in like a week. *sigh* The day before Jesse's .. hehe, also his middle name .. and my parents anniversary and matts bday and mickeys bday and someone else's i'm sure. i can't remember. shit.

Oh who cares. I had a kickass night and I'm happy. :-D