* s t a r d u s t a g a i n s t a p a l e s k y *

A falling star is a phenomenon to an adult and magic- a miracle- to a child. Who's right? Things are what you define them. So who am I? I guess it's up to you...

4.08.2005

*I Never Wanna Leave*

Why does it seem like everyone is against me feeling happy again?

Greg and Martin have stopped talking to me, basically, or at least mostly ignoring me when I talk to them. And it makes me wonder what kind of friends people really are when they can't deal with me having a boyfriend. I mean I'm fucking home from school with clinical depression and I can't even be happy about being with Mike because there's like those two and even more people that are like.. how dare I. I don't even think I've actually said that for fear of everyone getting mad at me.

But fuck it, I said it. I have a boyfriend.

I know my "I'm staying single forever" only lasted a month and whatever but sometimes things just happen. When I went out with him the one day, I totally wasn't expecting us to be the way we were. But I think it's a good thing.

But I freaking can't keep EVERYONE happy.

And I hate to say it, but the boy is sticking around for a while. He's been my good friend for 5 years and.. I think we have a chance.

Well, today is his birthday. He's probably at the DMV takin his drivers test. I think I'm gonna go over there tonight.. they're having a little family get-together. I like his family, a lot. I mean, I've known them forever so, that's cool. And his mom already warned Mike that he better not hurt me :-) haha. You gotta love that. I made him some perty cool stuff for his birthday.. I tried not to go overboard like I usually do since we've only been together like.. I don't know.. a week and a day? yeah. But he's also been my friend all this time so I did go a little overboard. I admit.

But its cool cuz I got paid last night!! $195! I was so excited, and that was just for this week, not including the other weeks that I did or the overtime. I went to put it in the bank and I did the form backwards (haha, so much for working at Commerce) so instead of depositing everything but $30, i only deposited $30. I didn't feel like arguing with the guy and waiting for him to deposit my money so I just took the cash and.. you guessed it.. went shopping. Borders was the only thing open so I got 2 cookbooks... a surfing book.. ashlee simpson cd (shut up).. christianity book.. depression book.. and a few others. I love reading.

I just wish I actually could.

Someday, I'll be a reader. I'm serious. I will be.

I just have to survive this.

And I'm glad I have such a great friend by my side. <3

2 Comments:

  • At 6:42 PM, Anonymous nenni said…

    i just wanna liIiIive, don't really care about what happens to me, don't really think about the people i see...

    my buzz lightyear action figure agrees with me. you and mike are adorable and you are bringing him to ussssssss soon, and... oh damn i forgot the other point...

    but anywho, you SO shoulda been here today. i was sitting on miller lawn reading and all these half-nekkid guys came out (they ranged from ...7s to 15s hahaha!)and started playing frisbee. needless to say, i didn't move. bwahaha! it was verah fun(ny).

    <3 to my girl!

     
  • At 3:35 AM, Anonymous nenni said…

    hey - i think i'm going to spring fling. if i can find a date. one that wears pants.

    not that you and ali aren't the hottest dates anyone could ever wish for, but i have a feeling you might be busy... just maybe. and i couldn't wear heels w/ali ;) teehee!

    =*

     

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